What is my problem?
What is it with me?
Is there really a problem at all?
I have too many ideas, too many things I want to do and not enough time in the day or even in one hundred years to do them all.
Here's just a few things I would love to do but probably never will as you can only have one career at a time....
To start up my very own greetings card company. Design and publish fab cards. I have already designed 4 ranges, sent off for envelope and board samples, named the company...no time.
I want to make things, knit bags and flowers and toys and egg cosies, scarves and sock and hats. But I don't really know how to knit.
I want my allotment to be the best allotment up there with row upon row of healthy veggies. But I haven't the time to devote to it,, so it's full of weeds. I am yet to grow a successful carrot. I am very good at growing pumpkins though.
I want to write more. I have had several ideas for junior fiction but they never get past 5 chapters.
I want to bake. I want to welcome Nick home from work with a batch of freshly baked cookies. I want a nice kitchen to do it in. Not a fitted one from MFI you understand, but a homely, warm kitchen with nice lighting. I want to wear a full 50's skirt while I'm baking with lots of petticoats...and a pinny. I do not own a pinny.
I want to move to France ( THIS WILL HAPPEN). I want to open a little shop in Brantome and call it Chez Fai, where I'd sell all things faery, from dolls to books. I would deck the place with fairy lights. I would paint the facade lilac. I would have a studio in the little room upstairs where I would work on my children's picture books. I would have a cat who lived in the shop...I would call him....hmmmm...what would I call him....Mabinogion...or Gobolino....or Dave...?
I am in no way complaining. I'm a happy bunny doing my children's books, but I'm never totally content. I'm very restless.
Maybe I should just Jack everything in a become a river gypsy...
I still don't feel as though I have really ACHIEVED anything yet. I know I've had books published...but I've NEVER seen them in a bookshop. I feel there's more in me than I'm getting out.
4 comments:
It's nice to see you blogging again. What an amazing list of potential things to do (I did especially like your French shop description). That seems to be an ongoing frustration of creative females.... It's hard to even be willing to pick and choose from so many fun sounding alternatives.
Good luck with your life choices! I've been there.
I know exactly what you are talking about Erica.
I remember reading somewhere that:
Choice, by it's very nature, means that we can't have everything.
There are loads of things that keep you excited with life which is SO much better than having nothing at all.
Don't forget that you don't have to do everything NOW. You've got years and years and years and years to do some baking (baking on Sundays is fun!) and knitting and all the rest.
A bit of a rejig of your priorities will probably help you achieve what it is you really want, and stop spending energy on things that aren't getting you closer to your dreams. xoxox
It's so nice to know it's not just me!
It is soooo typical of being "a creative".
I have now convinced myself that I want a shop with a studio above it. Even the thought of wrapping someone's purchase in pink tissue paper and tying some pretty ribbon around it gets me all of a quiver!
how great to see you back, it seemed like such a forlorned place for a time.
I adore the sound of your dream shop! I have always wanted a shop like that where the customers can't wait to return, where they feel like it's more of an experience than just standard fare. Go for your dreams Erica!!
xo
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